jeudi 2 juin 2011

Breast Feeding Blonde

Breast Feeding Blonde

 

A blonde woman is walking down the street, with her blouse open. A cop is approaching from about a block away, thinking, “Boy, my eyes must be going, it looks like that woman’s right breast is hanging out.”
As he gets closer it becomes apparent that her breast is hanging out. When he gets face to face with her he says, “Ma’am, are you aware I could cite you for indecent exposure?”
She says, “Why, officer?”
“Well, your breast is hanging out.”
She looks down and says “OMIGOD, I left the baby on the bus!”

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Car Accident

Car Accident

A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed. “If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?” he asked. “Yes!” said his adventurous girlfriend.
And as he gets up to 200, she peels off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.
“Go and get help!” he cried. “But I can’t. I’m naked and my clothes are gone!” “Take my shoe”, he said, “and cover yourself.” Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs,
She pleaded to the service station proprietor, “Please help me! My boyfriend’s stuck!” The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, “There’s nothing I can do….he’s in too far!”
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College Letters

College Letters

A girl goes into the doctor’s office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red “H” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he’s so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue “Y” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he’s so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red “M” on her chest. “Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?” asks the doctor. “No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask?”
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The Family Became Incestuous

The Family Became Incestuous

Hi ISS readers, I think all you know me. For the new readers, at first I introduce myself. I am Moni, late 40 and 5’-7”. I was born in a middle class Bangladeshi Muslim family and serving in a public organization. I’m married and having two kids. My whole life is lustful indeed.
As I gained some practical experience about sex at my childhood, I became a sex-maniac and whenever I got chance I tried to fuck any aged girls or women with many tricks without applying force or at least to peep the uncovered boobs and pussies from hidden places when they change costumes.
I always find the chance to touch teats and breasts of sleeping girls or women. I think always believe “sex is one kind of art”. So I want to share the real stories of those incidents of my life with yours. I assure you that every tale will give you a full satisfaction.
Dear readers, the conversations of the story obviously were in ‘Bangla’, some places I have used ‘Bangla’ as happened and translated into ‘English’, otherwise I have tried to use translated English.
THE INTRODUCTION – I FUCKED MY FRIEND’S WIFE FIRST
I was posted at Khulna in 1988 and allotted with a nice service quarter in the colony. About 700 quarters in the colony and there was school and market also inside the colony. I did private tuition from the early period of my service, so after office time it became my secondary profession. I was very familiar for that in the colony. Because who studied to me scored well in the examination, so I got many offer from the guardian of the students. In 1993, Mr. Ramesh Chowdhury was posted in the accounts section. The man was very well-behaved and soon a tight friendship was grown between us. In January 1994, one day he invited me at his quarter to have a tee. I went in the evening and had a nice tea and introduced with his family.
Ramesh’s wife Munia looked so gloomy and unhappy though she was a quite beautiful lady. She had slight dark complexion and a good physique. I admired at her figure that after birth of two children her body construction, particularly breasts were admirable shapely and intact. She was about 5?-2? and I guessed her breasts were 34C cupped. Her appearance was nice to look at and the most attractive part was her smiling, when she smiles her nicely arranged teeth sparkle like pearls between the nice lips which were looked like the cell of oranges. When I was staring at her with a full look, I noticed that her eyes sparkle for a moment.
He had two daughters Geeta and Seeta, no son, Geeta was elder and would appear upcoming HSC examination and Seeta studied in class six. Geeta has got her father’s fair complexion and she had a gorgeous body, about 5’-6” tall and wide as usual. That time at her 17 year age she got a bulky body and I guessed her boob’s size was 36D. Seeta’s complexion like her mother may be darker than her mom. She was then only 11 and her newly puffed up lemon size tits was visible over her frock. The most attractive part was her eyes, she was liquid eyed girl.
Ramesh had an intention for inviting me at her quarter. At last he offered me to teach his daughters. I gladly accepted his proposal and started from the next month. From the very beginning I explained about my two rules. When I teach, I don’t tolerate any interruption, so the room where I teach must be locked from inside and nobody could disturb me. And the other was any snacks or tea, if offers, may be served after finishing my teaching. Munia Boudi followed the rules strictly. After finishing study the two sister went out from the quarter for playing in the school playground, which was 20 minutes walking distance from the quarter. Ramesh worked till night in the office, he came only for lunch and performed overtime job for extra earning.
Everyday Munia Boudi arranged snacks and tea for me, while having those I chitchatted with her. After about one month, our chitchatting was starting to go another ways, from market price and children’s study to human relation and soon she started bantering with me slightly. I noticed that recently when she arranged snacks for me on the low tea-table, her pallu of the shari removed from her body and the deep cleavage of the shapely breasts was visible through her very low cut blouse. I noticed that when I stared at her cleavage she observed my looking and smiled. I smelt something carnally within her behavior. I thought about that because I seemed Munia Boudi wanted to set up a sexual relation with me. So I decided to impress her towards me. I know that for impressing a lady there is an easy way to admire about her beauties and figure, if possible feed something her favorite like chocolate, ice-cream etc.
Suddenly I remembered that few months ago, Ramesh was inquiring some Ayurvedic Practitioner to me. I asked him about the reason and he with a huge hesitation informed me that recently he was gradually losing his sexual power and at last his sexual ability became about completely lost. Recently he felt slight sexual arouse in one or two days in a month but he couldn’t give sexual satisfy to Munia Boudi. He also told me that many treatments he took but all are in vein. Last six months he kept himself hidden from his wife and stayed maximum time at office. I advised him to discuss the matter with Munia Boudi openly but he informed me that he tried but his wife didn’t show any interest and she only cry in nights. I then clearly understood about Munia Boudi’s desire that she was craving me to satisfy her sexual hunger. So, I understood Munia Boudi’s view of mind and wanted to take the chance.
Meanwhile one day suddenly I felt pee pressure and asked Geeta about toilet. She told me that their outside toilet was unserviceable and requested me to use the indoor toilet. I went there; it was an attached toilet opening with two rooms, bedroom and drawing room. I tried to open the door from drawing room and found it was locked inside and I heard the sound of waterfall. Soon I found a small hole from which a narrow light ray was visible. I pinched there with my nail and a seal was detached and the hole became larger. I peeped through the whole and what I saw, my heart became throbbed. Munia Boudi was bathing nude under shower. I amazingly saw her body and it was very nice. Particularly, I astonishingly observed her breasts. Those were so shapely, firm and intact like an 18 year virgin girl’s breasts about 30C cup. Her clean shaved pussy was very nice and I could see the clitoris which was flourished within the fat pussy lips and hung.
After ending the tuition Munia Boudi arranged my snacks. I gave a full look at her breasts and told BOUDI, DO YOU KNOW HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE? She smiled and told EVERYBODY TELL THAT.
Me ? HOW COULD YOU KEEP YOUR SHAPE SO INTACT? I THINK YOUR SHAPE STILL AS A 18 YEAR OLD VIRGIN GIRL. NOBODY COULD IMAGINE THAT YOU ARE A MOTHER OF TWO CHILDREN. HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?
Munia Boudi ? HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT MY SHAPE, GUESSED?
? NO, TRULY SPEAKING, I SAW YOUR NUDE BODY.
? HOW, WHEN?
? ONE HOUR AGO, YOU ARE BATHING, I FELT PEE PRESSURE AND THE OUTDOOR BATHROOM IS UNSERVICEABLE, THERE IS A HOLE IN THE DRAWING ROOM SIDE BATHROOM DOOR, I PEEPED THROUGH THAT AND COULD NOT CONTROL ME FROM SEEING YOUR SO NICE NUDE BODY.
? YOU ARE SO WICKED, SO NAUGHTY.
? BOUDI, I ALWAYS THINK YOU, RAMESH IS SO LUCKY, HE HAS GOT YOU, ENJOYING.
Boudi became gloomy and a black shadow covered her face.
? WHAT HAPPENED BOUDI, ANYTHING WRONG (I acted that I know nothing about Ramesh’s sexual disability).
? WHO WILL HEAR MY SADNESS?
? WHY, WHY ARE YOU FEELING SAD? PLEASE TELL ME BOUDI, I CANNOT TOLERATE YOUR SO SADLY FACE, CAN I HELP YOU ANY WAY?
? RECENTLY RAMESH DOESN’T LIE MY BED, HE SLEEPS IN GUEST ROOM.
? WHY, WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?
? HE BECAME SEXUALLY DISABLE AND DOESN’T GET ERECTION.
? OH SHIT! THEN WHAT WILL YOU DO?
? (Weeping) WHAT CAN I DO, I COULDN’T LEAVE MY CHILDREN AND I DO NOT MIX WITH OTHERS, SO I HAVE TO PASS MY DAYS SUCH, I WILL BECOME MAD.
? PLEASE BOUDI, DON’T CRY, I COULDN’T TOLERATE YOUR CRYING, LET’S THINK ABOUT SOME REMEDY OF THE PROBLEM.
? YOU THINK SITTING HERE, I’M GOING MY BEDROOM AND IF YOU WISH YOU ALSO CAN COME OTHERWISE LEAVE THE HOUSE.

Boudi ran to her bedroom, I finished my tea and then got up and forwarded to the bedroom. I saw Munia Boudi was standing beside dress-stand facing opposite. I stood behind her and kept my hands on her shoulder, she shivered slightly. I turned her body and saw the stream of tear was flowing from her eyes. I grabbed her face and planted a kiss on her eye, I sucked her tears of both eyes and licked the whole tear from her face, she smiled and her teeth sparkled again. She hugged me tightly and told MONI-DA I’M PLUMMETING, PLEASE SAVE ME. I whispered into her ear DON’T WORRY DARLING; I AM ALWAYS AT YOUR NEAREST. I’LL DO WHATEVER I COULD.
I removed her shari soon, her firm plump breasts made two small tents with the blouse and the nipples pointed through the cloth, I guessed she didn’t wear bra. Soon I unbuttoned her blouse and removed from her body, her breasts bared. I felt her deep warm breath and she kept closed her eyes. I could see her nice shapely breasts clearly from the close distance and my 8” long penis erected soon. It became rigid like an iron mast and made a huge tent with my lungi, I didn’t wear underwear. Suddenly Munia Boudi leaned more at me and I was going to hug her and her abdomen touched my penis. I asked BOUDI HOW YOU ARE FEELING NOW? She replied with a mysterious voice HEAVY RIGID AND STIFFED. I amazed and asked again WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Suddenly she gripped my penis and told while shaking my penis I’M TALKING ABOUT THIS, WOW! WHAT A GIANT THING IT IS, MONI-DA YOU ALWAYS CARRY A LARGE CUCUMBER INSIDE YOUR LUNGI I NEVER UNDERSTOOD.
I smiled and nothing said and Munia Boudi dragged my lungi knot and brought out my penis and she again admired about my 8” long and 7” fat penis. She was rubbing her thumb with my circumcised penis head. Pre-cum was oozing and she smeared it at the whole head. Then she sat down and took my penis into her mouth and sucked nicely for about five minutes and then got up. She hugged me and kissed me eagerly. I also kissed her and suck her lips, her voluptuous shapely breasts were smashed with my chest and I desired to squeeze those firm plump balls. So I made some space between us and grabbing the breast while I pressed Boudi hissed and shouted MONI-DA PLEASE DON’T PRESS SO HARD. I shocked and asked WHY?
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Mrs Velamma Lakshmi

Mrs Velamma Lakshmi, or Vela as her loved ones like to call her is a loving and innocent South Indian Aunty. However like most of the woman in her family, she was blessed with an extremely sexy figure with boobs like they came from heaven!
Velamma is always ready to do anything for people she comes in touch with, but her innocence sometimes makes her do things which might go a bit far. Read about Velamma’s sexy yet innocent and loving experiences in the best Indian comic series – Best of all, its all FREE
Episode 3 : When her sister and her horny husband comes to visit, Velamma is faced with a hard decision. What will she do?
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Evening In The Bus With The Lady Police

Hi to all ISS readers, hope you are all fine! I’m from Chennai, came up with a story here then guys I need your suggestions to post my future writings.
This happened very recently when I was travelling in bus, one day I missed my cab in the office and my next cab is after two hours, so I thought to go home by bus, so from my office I walked to a nearby bus stop and was waiting there, thinking that it’s been so long that I went in bus and I was praying that that the bus which I should take should not be rush, even if I did not get seat it was ok, but I should get proper place to stand,
It was night around 7.30 something, and since its late I got into the bus which came and it was not that rush, so I took ticket and went towards the backside then I was standing there and suddenly on the next stop too many people got in, and many ladies came towards the backside a I was dam tried just standing by scolding all the people who got into bus in the next stop in my mind,
At the time my mind was totally concentrated to reach my house as soon as possible and to get into bed and sleep, after some time I noticed that a lady’s back is in front of my pants, and I did not mind it and did not give much important to it as I understood the situation of the bus, quit a long time that same back it was touching my pants, by this time I noticed that particular lady is slowly moving her butt towards left and right side on my pants, so I was looking what she was doing, then I found that she took her purse from her bag, so I did not mind it, just stood there as it was, She took ticket and still then her back is not moved away an inch from my pants, this time I started to notice what was exactly happening and
I just have a doubt whether she is tried or doing intentionally? So I just moved a little backwards in such a way that I got an inch gap between her back and my dick, and to my surprise after five to ten seconds, her back touched my dick again, so I thought ok let’s go ahead and check what might happen? And let me check to which extreme does it goes. Then I just moved a little
Forward and then that lady also moved backwards that is towards me am not sure that she is doing by intentionally or really because of the rush in the bus, and when I started to give a little pressure on her butt, then that lady she turned and looked at me, even am unable to look at her face very clearly, just had a glimpse of her face but noticed that she was very fair, but it was not possible to admire at her beauty,
So I started to admire the beauty of her back, I saw her hair she have tied it, then I saw her neck it has the sweat droplets, I really wished to touch it by my lips, am so tempered right that time, I was unable to control myself, so just went near her, close to her moved my nose very close to her neck, am not even bothered about the people in the bus, I got courage and smelled the sweat smell of her, and it was dam dam sexy, am sure that she could have got idea that what
I actually did, but she did not give any response, so I got some more extra courage,!
Since I smelled the sweat smell of her I am unable to control myself, then I felt like to kiss her, I never felt like that before and I was speaking to myself, it that “you? who never ever touched a stranger girl, and that too in the public bus, but I am terribly out of control,
I really wanted to kiss her neck and suck it like the honey bunch, while I was staring at her then I got an wonderful opportunity, the driver gave a sudden break, I moved my mouth close to her and gave a kiss, and stood like that for 3 to 4 seconds, I really do not want to move my lips away from her, but considering it was a public place I have to do it,
Then I slowly moved my eyes down and noticed that she was wearing a police dress then I got that she is a lady police, I got fear then and suddenly then I moved back, thinking what the hell I have did, and I thought today instead of going home I may go to jail and spend my night over there all the film scenes came in front of my eyes,
Really do not know what to do further then I did not move at all. I just stood there like a statue; I was really afraid what may happen then? She moved and kept her ass in between my cock, slowly she started to move her ass towards my cock, and I looked down but in the down its dark nobody knows what was happening, even I am unable to see her butt, but the back part of her face is visible because there is some light in the top of the bus.
Later then she came backward completely then rested her ass in-between my cock, still am afraid, this time she turned back and gave a smile am totally confused and paralyzed, am just thinking and can’t get the meaning of that smile, but on the other side I was totally out of control, so thought whatever happens “goanna move forward” I also moved forward I mean my dick and started rubbing her ass slowly, suddenly driver applied a sudden break,
I moved forward and pressed my lips in her neck part again, and as I did that someone touched my thigh, thought here came the another problem, but by the touch of the hand on my thigh I felt the heat and the smoothness, I slowly I kept my hand on top of the hand which touched my thigh and moved upwards to find whose hand It was, because it was dark down there hence unable to
See like that and moved slowly and it was very soft I was touching a bare hand, then I took my hand and smelled it, and I kept on my lips and I took some saliva from my lips, and kept on her hand then started to apply my saliva on her bare hand and rubbed it, meanwhile i moved my hand upwards and to my surprise I found it was the same lady police, Then I was totally amazed,
I don’t know what to tell, I just thought that what nice thing I just missed my cab, then I lost all my fear, so I gave a kiss on her neck, and then that lady she touched my hand and she took it to the front and kept it around her hip, My god I was in heaven when I touched her hip but the thing is her shirt is not as soft as her pant, so just kept my hand over her stomach,
Then started to rub it slowly, after that suddenly she moved away my hand, then again I got tensed and got fear, I thought she have changed her mind then, but after ten seconds, again she got hold of my hand and kept in around her hip, This time I noticed that two of her buttons of her shirt from the bottom has been removed, I was very excited then I started to slowly rub her stomach as
I started to do that she also moved her thigh towards me and her thigh was touching mine, I slowly started to rub her thigh with my thigh, Then she is also moving her hand, on my thigh and started to rub, after that she started to rub little hard, then she started to squeeze my thigh, by this time I wanted to do my part so I took my hand under her petticoat, then started to squeeze it, and was massaging it, and slowly
I took my hand to the upper part and started to touch her boobs, was touching that big boobs and touched her armpits and I kept my hands on my lips and kissed it, And this time is spitted on my hand and took more saliva with that I massaged her stomach, meanwhile she slowly started to remove the zip of my pants, I was balancing the bus with my right hand, and the left hand is inside her shirt and inside her petticoat,
I don’t want to take my left hand so took my right hand and caught her hand and tried to hold her hand in order to stop unzipping my pants, but she took my right hand and placed on top of her pants..! So my left hand was inside her petticoat which is squeezing her boobs, and the right hand on her pants, and she was massaging my dick, as she was doing that I slowly moved my right hand down from hip to the her pussy, and started to rub at her pussy,
She was rubbing my dick and I was rubbing her pussy, she was excellent, think she could have did some exercise about keeping her hand at her back for long time… am not sure whether I missed my bus stop or not, but am not worried about to reach my home soon, I really wanted to spend the whole night with that lady, I was keeping my right hand on her pussy, and massaging her,
Then suddenly even without my notice she unzipped my pants and she started to touch my cock with my underwear, I can feel the warm of her hand, she was touching my balls, and moving her hands in and around the place and not even in the position to tell her she is doing good, and I was really impressed with the courage she had, So I want to show her how good am I and how courage’s am I, so I also unzipped her pants and the zip length was small, so
At the first shot my hand did not go fully inside, so I slowly moved my hand inch by inch and then my hand went inside her pants, then I touched her panties, it was wet there, I touched that wet pussy with my hand and thought to take my hand out and to kiss it, then I remembered that the pant zip is small if I take it out it’s not that easy to put it back,
So I just continued touching her pussy, and I was touching a pussy, of an unknown lady, and was touching her boobs, was also rubbing her thighs with mine and I slowly pressed her pussy,
Meanwhile she was massaging my dick, and it already got the pre cum, she took her hand out of my pant zip and she turned her face towards me and kept it on her lips, she did this so that I can seeher that she is licking my pre cum, this made me vey horny, as soon she did that I gave a gentle push on her pussy, and pitched on her boobs, and gave a pinch on her pussy too…
Then she told the conductor, “tell the driver to drive slowly”then I got It that she was telling it to me, then other lady in the bus who is next to her she said “yes , the driver is driving harsh”, and I just laughed,
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Good Example

Good Example

 

Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance rather than jail time.
I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up rugs forever. I’ll see you back in court Monday.”
Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one, “How did you do over the weekend?”
“Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever.”
“Seventeen people? That’s wonderful. What did you tell them?”


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mercredi 1 juin 2011

Michigan man pleads no contest for performing a sex act with a car wash vacuum!

Michigan man pleads no contest for performing a sex act with a car wash vacuum!

 

SAGINAW, Mich. (AP) — A man has pleaded no contest to indecent exposure after police said he was arrested for performing a sex act with a car wash vacuum. The Saginaw News reported 29-year-old Jason Leroy Savage entered the plea Wednesday in Saginaw County Circuit Court. A no-contest plea is not an admission of guilt but will be treated as one at sentencing on March 25.
Police said Savage was arrested after a resident called officers early on Oct. 16 to report suspicious activity at a car wash in Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of Detroit.
Defense attorney Philip Alexander Sturtz had no immediate comment Thursday.


click here for entre and telecharge one to tree for five

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Joke of the Day: What would preacher say?!

Joke of the Day: What would preacher say?!

 

One day, a little boy was pulling his wagon past a church. While the preacher was standing outside, one of the wheels fell off the wagon. “God damn!” shouted the boy. The preacher said, “Son, don’t say that, say ‘God bless.’” The boy put the wheel back on the wagon and went home.
The next day, the little boy went past the church with the preacher outside. Two wheels fell off and the boy shouted, “God damn!” Again the preacher said, “Son, don’t say that, say ‘God bless.’” The boy put the wheels on again and goes home.
The next day, the little boy went past the church, again with the preacher outside. Three wheels fell off and the boy shouted, “God damn!” Again the preacher said, “Son, don’t say that, say ‘God bless.’” The boy put all three wheels back on his wagon and goes home.
On the fourth day, the little boy passed the church. The preacher was standing outside and all four wheels fell off the wagon. The boy looked at the wagon and said, “God bless.” Suddenly, all four wheels jumped back on the wagon and the preacher said, “GOD DAMN!â€


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